We broke out the clamps again last night.  Dom had set them up some where with the jaws opened a little to give me a touch of breathing room but it really doesn’t seemed to have worked very well.  I have to say that Dom’s reaction to the persistent problem seemed a bit at odds with his telling me that he was trying to loosen them up.  So today I’m in a bit of pain, it was pretty hard to have to wear a bra to work all day.

I’ve noticed that working into a BDSM lifestyle when both partners are new to it has presented a lot more problems than just sore nipples.  It seems that you have to be diligent in order to stay on top of things.  I have a pretty easy time of it since I’m a natural submissive but Dom often seems hesitant in his domination.  We weren’t watching as many BDSM movies as we used to and that has taken some what of a toll.

I’ve heard some people say that a submissive’s roll is to be purly submissive all the time.  However I have learned that is not the case.  One may have to “top from the bottom” in order to get a scene initiated.  You can put on your collar and whatever items of clothing your dominant likes to let them know you would like some play time.  You could also set your self at his feet and rest your head on his lap.  This is a very submissive yet bold gesture that most dominants would understand as a welcome for attention.  The idea that a bottom must wait for their top to make a move often leads to the senerio that I managed to walk myself into.

If your having problems getting your dominant partner (or submissive for that matter) to open up and let you know that they want some thing then it’s time to have a conversation.  It could be that you have two submissive people in the relationship and unless one of you is willing to be a switch and take that dominant lead your going to have a serious issue when it comes to a happy and healthy lifestyle.  Maybe you and your partner might want to consider looking into some instructional videos that give you some general guidelines to follow.  You wouldn’t have to make these your standard “rules of engagement” so to speak, but you could use them to help you find your own way.

I’m going to be looking for some instructional videos myself and the ones that I find helpful I’ll be sure to post so you can check them out.  If you know of some good ones, be a dear and give me the links please.

I wanted to know more about BDSM so I’ve been out doing some research on the subject.  So far I’ve gotten quite a lesson thing like tools, basic positions and tersm… all good stuff to know no doubt.  I’ve decided to include some of the information I found here on this site so you can check it out as well.  Here are the most common (as I’ve seen them) BDSM positions:

Position 1: Standing
The legs are lightly spread apart and the hands are folded behind the neck with the elbows spread wide. By this the body and especially the chest are exposed and unprotected.

Image Courtesy of: The Training of O

Position 2: Kneeling Upright (Presenting Chest)
The knees are lightly spread apart and the hands are folded behind the neck with the elbows spread.

Image Courtesy of: The Training of O

Position 3: Face down on all fours  (Submission)
The arms are spread forward or folded on the back. The neck is exposed and with that the person shows complete submission.

Image Courtesy of: The Training of O

Position 4: On All Fours
This position has certain animalistic aspects as well as the aspect of humiliation. If you use your slave as a chair, make sure that you don’t put too much pressure on her spine. Try to sit as close to her ass as possible.

Image Courtesy of: The Training of O

Position5: Bend Down (Punishment / Inspection)
The backside is very much exposed and with that wonderfully positioned for a spanking or flogging. The danger of hurting the kidneys is very much reduced. Just make sure your strikes come from the side rather than from the top. This position also very useful for “inspections”. But it is quite unstable, so be careful when using it for punishment.

Image Courtesy of: The Training of O

Position 6: Backside / Present Ass
The arms are held together at the small of the back and spread the legs a little while the sub bends forward. In this position the genital area is very exposed and unprotected.

Image Courtesy of: The Training of O

My submission has led to some serious self discovery as of late.  I didn’t realize what a control freak I had become until I started allowing myself to submit to Dom.  Originally when I first came back from San Fransisco I had wanted to get into the BDSM lifestyle for what I’m sure would be considered questionable reasons.  The “doing it for kicks” kinda thing.  I saw some amazing things while I was in San Fran in regards to BDSM (I was fortunate enough to be able to visit Kink’s Armory) and thought that it just looked really cool.
As time has gone on I’ve realized that one of the reasons I’m so drawn to submission is that I have to maintain such rigid control of my life out side of the bedroom.  I didn’t really have any where I could step down and follow instead of lead.

It’s a wonderful feeling to be able to let go and allow some one else to run the show. Flogging, blindfolds and handcuffs are all apart of it as well.  These BDSM tools allow me to give up control and just feel.  I’m sure there are those out there that don’t get it, but I’m equally sure there are those who know exactly what I’m talking about.

I’ve decided it’s time to go further in my BDSM education and will be doing some research about BDSM and will of course share with you what I learn.  For now I leave you with an image from my favorite BDSM site, The Training of O.

Image Courtesy of: The Training Of O

All I want for Christmas is a Fucking Machine because they are just so cool.  At first I was a little nervous about the idea of being fucked by a machine, but as I’ve watched the videos at Fucking Machines and  I’ve come to realize that all I want for Christmas is a machine that will fuck me whenever I want and never get tired.  But more than that I though you know, you could use one of these bad boys along with a partner.  I think that Dom would enjoy them because he’s to possessive of me to allow another man to play with us, but a machine is a horse of a different color so to speak.  There would be another cock involved, one he doesn’t have to work thus freeing him up to flog or cane me while I’m getting fucked.  You know it could also be used to do double penetrations as well… hrmm.  Now that I think a bit more about it I really, really want a Fucking Machine for Christmas.  I wonder if I’ve been a good enough girl that Santa could bring me one.  Until then though I guess I’ll have to make due with watching the videos of all the hot girls playing around with these wonderful contraptions.

Image Courtesy of: Fucking Machines

Talking to you partner is never easy to do and it seems I’m not the only one who feels that way. I’ve been watching the stats here to see what posts you guys are really digging on and so far out of all the posts it seems like the most popular is the post I did about talking to your partner about your sexual needs.  In light of this I’ve decided to write up another post about the subject since I’m hoping that it’s helping a few of you to have a much more fulfilling sex life.

So here’s the thing.
This isn’t a one time only situation.  You can’t expect that your going to set down and have this great heart to heart and never have to say another damn word again.  Sorry guys, it just doesn’t work that way though I wish it did.

See we tend to build up more than just walls, we build habits.  It’s the little things that these habits have caused that can be the real elephant in the room.  It’s not nearly enough to tell your partner that you need them to be more dominant in the bedroom some times you have to take their hand and guide them a bit.

But how can you be sumbissive and guide your partner?  It’s actually easier than it sounds to be perfectly honest.  You have to keep the lines of communication open at all times for one.  And yes occasionally you will have to be the catalyst for your sex life.  For instance ladies, if you walk into a room with a collar, cuffs and leather on holding  a leash I think your partner may get the picture.

Another thing, don’t be afraid of porn.  I post pictures and now video clips from sites like The Training Of O, Sex and Submission and Public Disgrace here for a reason.  These sites are educational for those of us getting into the lifestyle as well as entertaining.  For some potential doms this can be what shows them how to go about dominating you.  Think about it, just about all the things you know how to do some one taught you in one way or another.  Whether it was some one setting you down and showing you how to do it or if it was you watching some one do some thing.  The point is at some point in time there was another party there to help guide you.  These sites I post about will do the same thing but better.  You can watch them with your partner and use them to decide what is and isn’t ok for you.  You can see what things turn you on and so can your partner.  If your here odds are good you already know you are into BDSM so the battle is half won already now we just have to get your partner on the same page.

Set down with them and show them this site.
Use the links to go to some of the adult sites I have linked here.
Take the time to watch videos and talk about your needs and how your partner can help to meet those needs.

If you or your partner have questions then ask them.  Use the comments area to ask me any thing you like.  I’ve got tons of contacts and am happy to do the research for you so all you have to do is read the answer.  And best of all, I’ve been where you are.  In fact there are days where I still feel like the ameba under the microscope, so I get where you are at.  Just remember nothing ventured nothing gained and it’s your sex life. You get what you deserve out of it.

Image Courtesy of: Wasteland

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