I hope you guys like the new theme I picked out for Sinful Erotica.  I had a lot of feedback that my last theme was just not bdsm enough.  My partner helped me go through all kinds of different wordpress blog themes till we came across this one.

I love the colors: silver, black, gold, red, burnt orange… I would love to use those in my bedroom.  Any way… I noticed a few problems with the way the pictures are displayed.  That sucks but at least I can fix these issues.

So…
The other night my partner and I take off for an adult bookstore (porn shop) to see if we can find some good videos to watch.  I have to say that I was really saddened by what we found.  Lot’s of the chain you up and fuck you cause it’s all about me videos.  These things looked like they were filmed in some one’s crappy basement.  To me porn in any form is an idealized version of a sexual fetish no matter what it is.  So I prefer to see the type of footage you get from some place like Wasteland for Kink.com.  Your still getting your BDSM fix but the girls are prettier, they doms are more centered and don’t seem like they should be in some late night horror fiick.  I would be scared out of my mind if I was handed over to some of the guys I’ve seen in second rate BDSM movies.  Sure I like to be flogged and tied up with rope just like any one else, but I want to know I’ll be leaving a scene alive and in one piece!
I don’t think I’m crazy here or the only person craving more quality BDSM videos.  The other thing that is pissing me off is the lack of female submission I’m seeing in videos.  I know some would tell me that if a woman is bound and gagged that she is a submissive and I won’t argue that.  What I’m talking about is submissive sex, some thing I feel is not defined by bondage play necessarily.
For example I can be equally submissive if my partner has me spread eagle with order not to move while he smacks me with a riding crop as I can be if I’m all tied up.  I think this also gets into more forceful sexual “leading”.  I mean a guy can hold me down telling me to suck his dick and it can be just as hot as if I’m wearing handcuffs and he just stuffs it in my mouth.
So those are my thoughts for today…

One of the hardest things I’ve had to learn so far is that what I want is not equal to what I need.  I’ve been learning a lot about how what I want is mearly a suggestion to my partner, certainly not a requirement.  In a submissive position as I have taken it’s what you need that is the default factor.  For instance.. what is more important?
Getting your way
or
being the submissive…

These things are not equal at all.  If you are submissive getting what you “want” all the time then who really is in charge of the scenes?  It’s not your partner no matter how many times they dress in black leather and whip your ass with a flogger.  It’s you, your are telling your partner what to do which means your the top.  I read once that was called “topping from the bottom”.  That is when a submissive takes the doms place mentally though not physically.  Or at least that is what I got from the article I read about it.  I’m not 100% sure that I have the definition proper.

Besides, if you think about it what you need is what you want.  For those getting into or already in a D/s relationship (and I’m talking from a submissive perspective here) you already know what it is you really crave in the bedroom or your life.  Some one to tell you what to do and to take the initiative to ensure it gets done.  I’ve stated it in overly simple terms I’m sure but for me at least that is what it comes down to.

People I’ve met in the BDSM know their places in the relationships they are in.  There are Doms and subs, though you can see “switches” (some one who can be either a  Dom or sub in a relationship or scene) though those I have spoken with have very straight forward preferences to what side of the fence they prefer to be on.

It’s all about need… so even if your Dom isn’t always doing the things you want they are delivering the thing that you need.  A supportive, dominant person in your life or bedroom that controls the things you do.  Or at least that is how I see it.  Feel free to comment if you disagree with these thoughts.

I can’t imagine I’m the only girl that loves being taken from behind!  I mean there is the fact that a guys dick can penetrate further in that position but there is also that hot-as-hell kink factor.

A guy can really get in there a dominate a girl on all fours there’s just no two ways about it.  He can grab your hair, push your face into the bed, deliver an erotic spanking all while viciously pounding your pussy!  I mean does it get much better than that?  I doubt it.

For those looking to try a bit more submission in their sex life, give it a whirl.  Its a nice safe way to let your partner dominate you while still remaining some what in control of the scene.  So your not on top and you can’t just kick the guy off you.  But you can pull away if it gets to be to intense or your partner goes over board some how.  But you have the illusion of utter dominance by your partner.  Very kinky… very erotic.

Along side my little blog here I also work in the wonderful world of adult.  I used to work mostly in web and graphic design, ran my own twisted medical fetish website and now I work for a new adults only internet radio station… Radio Dentata.

Since I do a lot of work in adult I’ve been fortunate enough to attend a few adult trade shows.  So what does that have to do with the price of tea in China?  Well it was at these trade shows I was able to meet Colin, the genious behind Wasteland.com

For years I kept an eye on the Wasteland tours and even bought memberships from time to time.  I love the way he photographs the scenes always with the eye of one who really loves what he is doing.  I’ve seen tons of BDSM sites that left me cold because I didn’t feel they were able to really capture the erotic nature of BDSM.  It was just the mechanics of bondage and tons of humiliation.  While there are those out there that are really attracted to the humiliation aspects of BDSM I have to say I’m not one of them.

I don’t long for some one to call me a dirty slut while slapping me in the face or forcing me to lick their boot heels.  I can appreciate these scenes though when I can tell that the women and men involved are there for more than a paycheck.  These people want the experience… the pain and the pleasure, that to me is erotic and certainly puts me in the mood for a scene of my own.

That brings me back to Wasteland and their content.  After talking to Colin a bit I realized my first impression of their set up was correct.  He loves the scene and works his ass off to transfer that love over to the content he provides his members.  He’s also a very down to earth person who is very easy to talk to, some thing I found to be a real plus with my own journey into the lifestyle.  I was able to “pick his  brain” about various aspects of BDSM learning things about myself that I never knew.

If you want to see real, erotic BDSM that will get your blood pumping then by all means be sure to check out Wasteland.  I’m sure you’ll agree with me that the site is well worth the cost of admission and perhaps you will learn a little some thing about your self as well.

As I sat here debating whether or not I should find a couple of nifty affiliate programs that specialize in the various aspects of BSDM and make make just a bit of money off the site I wondered why it was so hard for me to find the sites I actually like.

For instance, I’m a fan of a couple of the Kink.com sites my favorite being of course The Training Of O sites so if I send a bunch of readers over there I could make a bit of cash and we can all enjoy some kinky erotica.  You gotta love that.

But here is what I’m afraid of…

I want this blog to be useful to some one out there.  So if I were to get into the affiliate game does it cheapen the over all concept of the blog?  I would almost say yes, except I am also offering you information about BDSM experiences.  Or at least one persons foray into the world of BDSM and what I’ve learned.  Who knows maybe it will help some one out there.

So I suppose that no, it’s not evil of me to get a couple of affiliate accounts as long as I’m still offering advice and information as well as links to useful BDSM oriented sites.  So look for this blog to go a lot heavier into the kinky erotica I’ve grown to love so much.

So here is what I’ve decided…
I’ll add some pics to posts when I find a good site or an image that I think is appropriate for the post.  If you like the pictures make sure you click the curtesy of link and maybe even get a membership.  That way you can help keep the site up and running

Image Curtesy of: Fucking Dungeon

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